Pornography is not a drug.

Today, I watched this video. Please take a minute and view it yourself.





Oh man. What a tear jerker, huh? Here's this husband and father, Troy, who just can't help but want to see attractive, naked people in the act of sex. This is because,

"...the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord..." (The Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19).

Let's recap here: the reason Troy is such a fallen man is because his natural self is God's enemy, and that natural self is what desires the viewing of acts of sex by others. Letting alone the various other "natural man" tendencies which God must hate (the desire to eat, sleep, have companionship, etc.), let's examine what constitutes an addiction to pornography.

In this talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, he opens with a cautionary tale involving three women, all of whom were divorced, "...and in each case the seeds of alienation and transgression had begun with an attraction to pornography." This logical fallacy is known as the Slippery Slope argument, where one implies a correlation between two separate events, even though no such relationship necessarily exists. The "attraction" to pornography is equated with addiction to pornography. While the relationships of these women obviously failed, to imply that it was unmistakably the fault of pornography might be a stretch.

Fort Eustis go-kart addicts

I will assume all of us here at least know what go-karts are. It's a totally enjoyable, artificial simulation where one operates a vehicle in an enclosed space. The operator drives the go-kart around, takes corners as fast as possible, and maybe even occasionally bumps another car. It's enjoyable. How many of those riders, after driving a go-kart, would then assume driving a car should be performed the same way, and go bumping into cars on the street? I would speculate that very few drivers fail to make that distinction. Pornography is conceptually very similar.

Pornography provides a means by which the sexually frustrated (as well as the not sexually frustrated) can more easily have some relief. When understood correctly, pornography becomes a known fictional realm that is not to be applied to one's reality, but simply exists as a distraction from the day, similar to any other distraction. However, information and understanding, as well as responsibility, must be present.

Does pornography addiction exist? Maybe. I couldn't rule that out. Just because I've never felt such an addiction doesn't mean others haven't. However, the fact that I, as well as many other, don't have an addiction to pornography is evidence that a healthy relationship with it can indeed exist. Yes, healthy (I'm just imagining all the reactions that just occurred after reading that last sentence).

As usual, the LDS Church teaches that the best offense is a good defense, or rather, not even stepping on the playing field. Abstinence seems to always be key. Don't drink. Don't smoke. Don't watch R-rated movies. Don't ever forget to pray, study scriptures, or attend church meetings. Don't look at pornography. Don't look at pornography. DON'T LOOK AT PORNOGRAPHY. Elder Holland, in his talk, related something said by one of the wives mentioned, when she said, “Why is there so much moral decay around us, and why are so many individuals and families, including some in the Church, falling victim to it, being tragically scarred by it?”

Now, imagine you have a pornography addiction, like Troy. In reading this talk, you're now being referenced as one having fallen victim to moral decay. You're also tragically scarred, apparently. How does that make you feel? Does that give you any hope in the future, or in yourself for that matter? I may be a young guy, but I haven't yet witnessed a largely successful implementation of guilt as a strategy for change. Guilt stirs resentment. Not only that, but also self-loathing, as you hear Troy say in the video. Those behaviors are not conducive to a healthy sense of self, and thereby cause a hindrance to any improvement.

I hate to do it, but Breaking Bad had an excellent moment (season 3, episode 1) where Jesse Pinkman attends rehab for his drug addiction. In asking his counselor if he had ever really hurt anyone, the counselor explains that he killed his daughter while once being both drunk and high on cocaine. The following conversation takes place: 

Jesse: How do you not hate yourself?

Group Leader: I did hate myself, for a long time, but it didn't stop me from drinking and getting high. It just made it that much worse. Self-hatred, guilt, it accomplishes nothing. It just stands in the way.

Jesse: Stands in the way of what?

Group Leader: True change.

(Breaking Bad, "No Más")

The fact is that our existence is indebted to sex. Mammals, such as ourselves, have only survived this long because of the sexual drives we have to reproduce. Calling such natural impulses "evil" only hinders the ability of a person to develop self-control. Why not be frank? Why not explain that pornography needs to be understood as artificial? Making people feel horrible about themselves by calling them depraved victims of moral decay only causes them to withdraw and find more creative, secret ways to continue in their habits. This is not a solution. This is the problem, and so long as this current approach is continued, the attraction to pornography will continue to be conflated with an addiction to pornography. Thus, there will be a perpetuation of the self-fulfilling prophecy that pornography is highly addictive and will cause relationship decay.

In closing, consider the video again. Kerri, through prayer and the reading of her scriptures, was "able" to forgive her husband and remain married. I don't know about you, but to me, that sounds like a marriage that now has an unfulfilled debt. Terri feels she has acted in benevolence by forgiving her husband. Troy feels lucky to have such a forgiving spouse. Because Troy will likely never stop wanting to view pornography, he will constantly deal with the struggle between what he can't help but want and the potential scorn of his benevolent wife. The stigmatization against sex needs some major revision. Maybe then we wouldn't have so many "addicts".