Shit Showers

No matter how outlandish, boring, or propaganda-ridden, I will watch and finish any documentary. If I had to pick a specific genre though, it'd be the political or business-related stories where someone in power flies too close to the sun. Recently, I began to understand why.

The more I watch these documentaries, the more I notice a pattern when it comes to the “bad actors”: they don’t care about consequences. Bernie Madoff, Elisabeth Holmes, Carlos Ghosn — they wear blinders and have zero regard for anyone but themselves. Some see this as admirable, but for the rest of us, it’s weird.

People like you and me, we let people cut in line if they only have a thing or two to buy. We turn the volume down at night to keep the neighbors happy. We hand a couple bucks to the homeless guy on the corner. It’s compassion. The Golden Rule within us actually rules.

But the higher you climb up the affluence ladder, the less that compassion appears. The more important people become, the less they care about the little guy; they become the very thing they aimed to defeat. Chris Hayes calls it “cognitive capture” in his book Twilight of the Elites: America after Meritocracy — the ascension into power leaves you less in touch with who you were.

What the hell is this photo?

You Already Knew That

It’s no surprise that when ideological foes cross a line, they don’t own up to it. OJ Simpson’s glove didn’t fit. Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman. Ronald Reagan told us, “[he] did not trade arms for hostages.”

None of these people gave a shit that their actions destroyed the lives of others, and that's not counting the scores more who never even faced trial. The Panama Papers revealed hundreds of tax evaders, yet none suffered legal consequences (though their whistleblower mysteriously died a week later). Ja Rule’s personal fortune wasn’t harmed in recouping the losses of Fyre festival staff. DuPont knew its Teflon factory was poisoning locals but continued fighting all charges. Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn was caught red-handed skirting diesel emissions laws, yet continues to deny all wrongdoing even today.

Why don’t these people give a shit? Why don’t their peers give a shit? Why don’t prosecutors and judges hold them accountable?

It's easy to just call them psychopathic and chalk it up to Mother Nature keeping things random, but for me, it’s not random at all: we victims of the fallout believe in redemption. We want them to have a change of heart. Our hope keeps our imagination from straying too far into the cynical.

Why People Want to Be Loved

Loneliness is debilitating. You can literally die of it. Humans, ever innovative, find myriad ways to attract company, and what trait is more universally attractive than confidence? People who don’t seem afraid to act or speak give us “permission to do the same,” in the words of Marianne Williamson.

It goes back to the compassion thing. If you worry your actions and opinions might upset others, just look at how that confident person over there says what they want, and people are fine. Maybe you can be yourself.

While that kind of resolution can be a good thing, it’s also the origin of the villain. Not all confidence is real, and some displays come from a deep need for affection, spawning its rotten cousin, arrogance. There are other names for it — mania, narcissism, selfishness — but they all mean the same thing: increasingly desperate attempts to draw people closer.

And while some are attracted to this malevolent behavior, opting to cozy up next to it rather than be trampled by it, the rest of us see a chrysalis too dangerous to keep around or ignore.

The Transformation of a Monster

Acceptance is a powerful thing. Knowing we are loved for who we are calms a Münchian scream of the soul, but for those who fake their confidence to extreme lengths, that’s not the case.

When you’re loved for being someone else, you have nightmares about either continuing to live a lie or shatter the illusion of confidence others have in you. Naturally, most people choose to keep an even keel than hoist the sails and ride the winds wherever they take you. (side note: fake it ‘til you make it is still good advice so long as “making it” doesn’t become an exhausting pathology)

Some of these vexed people don’t fake anything, but are merely lucky/unlucky enough to reach prominent positions only to be caricatured into boxes by onlookers. They may not even have power. Either way, they must uphold their reputation or face the vast, angry mob of public opinion, however real or imagined. It seems they have no choice but to lie.

I’ve never been rich or famous. Today I got a letter saying California paid me too big a tax return and I have 30 days to pay back the balance or start paying interest. I can’t conceive the limitless opportunity afforded to the elite. We face bullshit and its accompanying consequences. It's a fact. There’s no frame of reference to imagine life without it.

On the other hand, as villains and their manufactured confidence see results, people not only believe what they say but also become enthusiastic about joining in. The echo chamber swells and renders the world a much friendlier place. In this Garden of Earthly Delights, what good is it to be told no?

All Resistance Is Bad

It’s truly frightening how completely fame and fortune turn the down-to-earth into total assholes. Hannibal Burress, a once up and coming comedian, now owns a rental building in Chicago and publicly expresses his disdain for rent control. Dodgers Ace Trevor Bauer faces assault charges after strangling and punching a woman who solicited really rough sex. Eliot Spitzer was arrested for soliciting a prostitute after mistakenly believing his elite celebrity status as a prosecutor would shield him from the consequences.

When opportunity is hurled at you day after day, who wouldn't want to say yes? While these actions are shitty, it’s easy to understand why they don’t behave better: humility can always come later. 

When the word “no” becomes an affront rather than a challenge, the conditions are right for a perfect storm. People really fuck up, and when they're caught, they don’t seem apologetic — they chose their actions as much on principle as for their own interests.

So What about Us?

I titled this blog Shit Showers because while we may not enable this kind of bullshit, our lack of imagination keeps us believing that people will do right in positions of power, whether now or later.

But that’s not all. It’s much harder to fight back against bad behavior than it is to don a poncho and deal with the fallout. There are many terms for what it means to abide the bullshit — forgiveness, patience, temperance — but calling it a virtue doesn’t make it any less permissive.

“It’s hard to believe that the fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain, but you know what? It is.” – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 2011

Doesn’t that just sum it up? Saying yes can be a lot easier than calling a spade a spade, and pacifism can easily be called a virtue. 

All that’s left to ask is whether or not it's a weakness.